Saturday, December 31, 2011

Caption Contest


It is time once again for a caption contest! Leave a comment with your caption idea(s). Everyone is a winner! The deadline for this caption contest: The End of Time.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Santa Sighting


While driving in Minnesota to our Christmas Eve destination, we not only saw Santa, but followed him, and took a picture of the elusive gifter. He was driving a car with Minnesota plates, which looked to be fully loaded. He was not speeding, swerving, or distracted. That's all from here. Back to you, Dick!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Count Indian


How to speak 1-10 in Dakota Sioux:
1. Wanzi
2. Nonpa
3. Yamni
4. Topa
5. Zaptan
6. Sakpe
7. Sakowin
8. Sahdogan
9. Napcinwanka
10. Wikcemna

Snowflake Of The Week

Friday, December 23, 2011

OrnaMental


A rare self-portrait of Uncle Johnnny in this ornamental Christmas ornament. These types of pictures always remind me of MCEscher holding a mirror ball.

Believe In Ghosts


The $1.5M Rolls-Royce Ghost.
Or you could buy 75 Hondas.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Oh Christmas Tree


The perfect Christmas tree?
All Christmas trees are perfect!
~Charles N. Barnard

Unfortunately, this quote was only talking about "real" Christmas trees. Artificial trees are made with polyvinyl chloride (PVC) which is one of the most environmentally unfriendly forms of non-renewable, petroleum-derived plastic. Several known carcinogens are generated during the production of PVC. "Fake" trees contain lead and other additives designed to make the otherwise rigid PVC more pliable. Many of these additives have been linked to liver, kidney, neurological and reproductive system damage in lab animal studies. Fake trees shed lead-laced dust, which covers branches or showers gifts and the floor below the tree. In toxic fake tree homes, avoid inhaling any dust from these lead-laced PVC death factories, which must then be stored in the toxic home yearound. Merry Christmas.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Explosive Design


This is a Dutch architect's design for a possible pair of buildings in South Korea. How could anyone find anything controversial about this look? It certainly is a conversation starter. However, most conversations would probably end up thumbs down on this one. Sorry. Back to the drawing board. How about a building shaped like a mushroom cloud?

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Andy Rooney


Andy Rooney recently died at the age of 92. This self-admitted liberal biased news reporter commented about a wide variety of issues at the end of the CBS 60 Minutes show. He tackled everything from the Washington Redskins name to Kurt Cobain's suicide.

Here are a few quotes from Andy Rooney:

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Survival Tip Of The Week


This week, our survival tip is: How to Snare a Rabbit. This is probably something we all learned in Survival Skool, but it never hurts to review. The notched trigger in the lower left is shown close up in the lower right circle. Once you catch a rabbit, you'll need to know how to cook it (our next survival tip). If cooked properly, rabbit tastes like chicken.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Pink Unicorn


If you need a fresh new idea of what to dress as for Halloween, consider going as a dog that is dressed as a pink unicorn. This look is fashionably smart and irresistibly adorable. Don't be surprised if you receive doggie treats while trick or treating.

Best Band Ever


The Miles Brothers Corp just came out with its Best Band Ever list. The only band on this list is: The Beatles. Thank goodness they came along when they did, or the music of the world would have taken a much different (and less interesting) path. What these four men did for the world in terms of music (and much more) is tantamount to what Einstein did for the world in physics (and much more). Congratulations to The Beatles for being named the Miles Brothers Corp Best Band Ever. That's all from here. Back to you, Dick!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Town Of The Week


The Miles Brothers Corp Town-of-the-Week is: Nimrod, Minnesota. Neatly nestled into the trees and lakes of north-central Minnesota is the town of: Nimrod. All other towns in the area measure themselves in terms of how many miles they are from: Nimrod. If you are looking to escape the mundane, consider: Nimrod. If electic is your style: Nimrod. Remember, all roads lead to: Nimrod. Once you're there, you won't want to leave.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Moss Covered Roof


While staying in the Nisswa, Minnesota area, we noticed some moss build-up on the roof of our condo. On a 1-10 moss scale, this roof was about a 9. There were even small oak trees growing out of the roof moss (which can't be too good for the shingles). The overall look reminded us of a Hobbit house in Lord Of The Rings.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Waterfall


Autumn Haiku
Night and day same length
Summer sun has lost some strength
Good time to sand deck.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Obama Economy Doing Great


Flying in the face of conventional wisdom, the Obama Administration has shown that a country can actually tax itself back into prosperity. Through a sustained effort to add layers and layers of new regulations and taxes, unfettered government spending can create jobs and lead back to a robust economy. By not resting until the problem was fixed, President Obama has single-handedly demonstrated that you can "push a rope". Since this tax-and-spend approach has worked so well, hopefully congressional members will support his plan to do more of the same (and as quickly as possible).

Friday, September 9, 2011

Route Out


You know it's going to be a bad day when you wake up and turn on the television only to see all the emergency evacuation routes out of your city.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Best Car Ever

The Miles Brothers Corp just came out with its Best Car Ever list. The only car on the list is the: 1989 Honda Civic Hatchback. At 22 years old, it just easily completed a 900-mile trip with 42 miles per gallon. It also survived baseball sized hail without much more than 4 small dents. Honda should have stopped with this model. It is hard to improve upon perfection.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

What Would Ralph Say?

After traveling to INDIANapolis of all places to meet with NCAA Political Correctness officials, The Fighting Sioux nickname and logo have apparently finally met their match. Being deemed too "hostile and abusive" by the NCAA, the University of North Dakota could supposedly cause serious harm to itself by retaining The Fighting Sioux nickname and logo. What would Ralph say about this? What would Ralph do about this? Couldn't it be argued that UND would be causing serious harm to itself if it caves to this political correctness? It seems the NCAA is the organization being hostile and abusive. Perhaps UND should change its name to the Hostile Abusives. If that's too soft, how about the Middle Fingers? Didn't Ralph say that if the NCAA ever banned the Fighting Sioux nickname and logo, The Ralph Engelstad Hockey Arena should be taken down brick by brick?

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Look-A-Likes


I have long thought that Timothy Geithner and Martin Short looked a lot alike.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Presidential Advice


Would you rather have a big slice of a small apple, or a small slice of a big apple? If government truly wants to increase its revenue, it should go with lower tax rates in a robust economy. Lowering tax rates increases revenue. Unfortunately, President Obama does not understand this. He is either misinformed, misguided, or mistaken.

"President Obama on Friday (July 15) kept up the pressure on Republicans to agree to revenue increases in a deal to raise the debt ceiling, claiming 80 percent of the public supports Democrats' demand for tax increases. Throughout the press conference, Obama blasted Republicans for ignoring what he said is the will of the American people by rejecting tax increases that would balance out spending cuts in a debt package." Link

It is too bad President Obama doesn't look to President Reagan or President Kennedy for prudent advice on this matter.

In a speech to the Economic Club of New York delivered on December 14, 1962, President Kennedy wisely advised:

"In short, it is a paradoxical truth that tax rates are too high today and tax revenues are too low and the soundest way to raise the revenues in the long run is to cut the rates now. The experience of a number of European countries and Japan have borne this out. This country's own experience with tax reduction in 1954 has borne this out. And the reason is that only full employment can balance the budget, and tax reduction can pave the way to that employment. The purpose of cutting taxes now is not to incur a budget deficit, but to achieve the more prosperous, expanding economy which can bring a budget surplus.

I repeat: our practical choice is not between a tax-cut deficit and a budgetary surplus. It is between two kinds of deficits: a chronic deficit of inertia, as the unwanted result of inadequate revenues and a restricted economy, or a temporary deficit of transition, resulting from a tax cut designed to boost the economy, increase tax revenues, and achieve, I believe — and I believe this can be done — a budget surplus. The first type of deficit is a sign of waste and weakness; the second reflects an investment in the future."

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Cheater Of The Year


Dr. Beverly L. Hall was named Superintendent of the Year back in 2009. She had dramatically improved standardized test scores in her Georgia school district. Maybe it was too good to be true. Maybe this superintendent wasn't so super after all. Apparently there's been a lot of cheating going on in Georgia. Teachers and principals worked hard in a large group effort to correct wrong answers on student tests. It's too bad they put so much effort into cheating rather than teaching. The best advice for Dr. Beverly L. Hall would be to: confess while crying, ask for forgiveness, and then play the race card.

Link: Cheating

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Blue Angels in Fargo


The Blue Angels are coming back to Fargo, North Dakota in August 2011. The dates are Saturday August 13th and Sunday the 14th. Of course, they will be flying around town during the pre-show days. Link: fargoairsho.com

Monday, July 4, 2011

Most Inane


The Word of the Week is: inane, meaning very stupid. Our Phrase of the Week is: most inane, meaning extremely stupid. All of the letters in "Most Inane" can be rearranged to spell "Minnesota". For the entire state of Minnesota to close all of its state parks just before the 4th of July weekend is: most inane. For all the wayside rests in Minnesota to be closed on such a heavily travelled weekend: most inane.
MINNESOTA
MOST INANE

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Live Wire


I make a motion that Mountain Dew Live Wire is the unofficial official soda pop refreshment drink beverage of the Miles Brothers Corp. Do we have a second?

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Consumer Warnings

The Obama Food and Drug Administration recently introduced new graphic cigarette warning labels. These new warnings, which seek to depict the negative health impact of cigarettes, will be required to cover at least 50 percent of every pack of cigarettes sold in the United States by mid-2013. Why not take that idea one step further and require all Happy Meals at McDonalds to clearly display pictures of extremely fat children, to depict the negative health impact of obesity?

Along the same vein, why not have pictures of soup lines at voting booths to depict the negative impact of voting for Democrats?

Monday, June 20, 2011

Bonfire Maintenance


What is the best way to stoke a fire? If you want to keep a fire going or even build it up, would you throw gasoline on it, sprinkle it with water, or stack a few big logs at its base? Gasoline is a quick fix and does not last long. Water dampens the fire and threatens its existence. A few well-placed dry logs will keep a fire going for future good times. Why then, does the Obama Administration keep trying to stoke the economy by dampening it with more and more taxes and regulations?

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Wall Flower


Summer Haiku:
Longest days of year
Summer solstice happening
Starting to shorten

Monday, June 13, 2011

Quake Wave


Good Morning became a bad day
How bad, nobody could say
Massive problems needing massive solutions
Still require global contributions

Friday, May 27, 2011

Love Children


How many love children does Arnold have? How often in the past few decades has the Sperminator sown his wild oats? If we can gradually get a handle on the numbers involved with Arnoldgate, we might then be able to estimate how many little Arnolds and Arnoldas we can expect to see in the future. The Kindergarten Cop might have to keep his whistle (and checkbook) handy, for things of this nature, and so on and so forth.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Politically Correct


It is no longer politically correct to say MASTER Bedroom. This vestige from our past drudges up ownershipage of one, by another. Tis also now no longer politically correct to refer to a pet, as a PET. Pets find this term subserviently demeaning. Master Bedroom is now: Main Bedroom, or Bedroom #1. Pets are now called: Non-Human Beings, Animal Companions (or just Companimals).

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Las Vegas 1895


What a difference 116 years can make. This is a photo of Las Vegas in 1895. We don't know the name of the gentleman, but quite sure the dog's name is Blackjack.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

May Snow


On this first day of May we woke up to snow. Our shovels had already drifted up into the attic. Our push-mower was almost ready to be pushed. The robins were doing their thing. Asparagus was sending up second-year spear clusters. Some late-fall spinach was almost ready for a spring harvest. But this morning, old man winter returned for a cold and windy encore performance. I am not applauding, nor do I plan on getting down any shovels for the obligatory clearing. Fortunately, we covered our plants with pails and top-rocks after hearing the bleak forecast. Luckily, our snow is measured in inches rather than feet (as the western part of our state was dealing with blizzard conditions).

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Tell A Vision


Motorola, leader in television, shows how TV can mean better behavior at home and better marks in school.

Top Right caption: Gets homework done - promptly! The simple rule "Homework first - television second" has solved the problem in thousands of homes . . . has made children more interested in school work. "Television" says the New York Times "can be enjoyed in healthy moderation in the same way as sports or movie-going, but only the mother and father can make certain this will be the case.

Bottom Right caption: Will television strengthen family ties? Educators, religious and social workers all agree it can be one of the strongest forces in America for bringing the family together to enjoy good, clean entertainment right in the home. Parents can select their children's "TV diet" from a wide variety of wholesome programs.

Bottom Left caption: Home, sweet TV home! Peace! Quiet! No more "rainy day riots" . . . with television keeping small fry out of mischief . . . and out of mother's hair. And that's just one of many TV blessings. "Taking away television from children who 'act up' is a punishment that really works" writes an authority on child psychology. "The very thought of missing some pet program turns little lions into lambs. And, incidentally, those favorite programs in the late afternoon are the world's finest magnet for getting tardy youngsters home on time."

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Taxation With Representation

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation. --Rush Limbaugh


Our forefathers made one mistake. What they should have fought for was representation without taxation. --Fletcher Knebel


Here is an updated current listing of any and all countries that have ever taxed themselves into prosperity:





Saturday, April 9, 2011

Face Book

Apparently President Obama is such a fast reader that he can read a book as it passes by his head. This book must have been a funny one by looking at his face book expression. One wonders what it must be like to be his brain when our Commander-In-Chief walks through the Library Of Congress. If only he could teach us all how to absorb knowledge as quickly as he can.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Zen Proverbs

Top Ten Zen Proverbs

  • 10: If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?

  • 9: So little time, so little to do.

  • 8: Possessing much knowledge is like having a thousand foot fishing line with a hook, but the fish is always an inch beyond the hook.

  • 7: The quieter you become, the more you can hear.

  • 6: If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.

  • 5: When you get to the top of the mountain, keep climbing.

  • 4: Zen is not some kind of excitement, but merely concentration on our usual everyday routine.

  • 3: To set up what you like against what you do not like - this is the disease of the mind.

  • 2: Nothing is exactly as it seems, nor is it otherwise.

  • 1: Even a good thing is not as good as nothing.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Gypsy Proverbs

Top Ten Gypsy Proverbs

  • 10: There are such things as false truths and honest lies.

  • 9: One mad man makes many madmen; many madmen make madness.

  • 8: In the hour of your greatest success are sown the seeds of your own destruction.

  • 7: The winter will ask what we did all summer.

  • 6: Burn your enemies caravan and you burn your future.

  • 5: The dog that digs deepest finds the bones.

  • 4: You can count the apples on a tree but you can't count the trees from one apple.

  • 3: It is better to be the head of a mouse, than the tail of a lion.

  • 2: Stay where there are songs.

  • 1: It is easier to milk a cow that stands still.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Norwegian Proverbs

Top Ten Norwegian Proverbs:

  • 10: Do not sell the hide until you have shot the bear.

  • 9: A small grass tuft can topple a big cart load.

  • 8: Carve your good words in stone, the bad in snow.

  • 7: Behind the clouds, the sky is always blue.

  • 6: No one can help someone who will not help themselves.

  • 5: There is hope as long as your fishing line is in the water.

  • 4: Do not report the weather while standing in a garage.

  • 3: An empty head gets the easiest sleep.

  • 2: No such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.

  • 1: More cooks make a bigger mess.