Thursday, December 30, 2010

Pair Of Blizzards


Just for the record: On this day in Fargo (North Dakota), we got hit by a Blizzard #1. Fargo made the national news for the 100-car (and truck) pile-up, on east-bound I-94, just west of West Fargo. The most oft-heard phrase on the radio call-ins: White Out. Tomorrow is to bring (stronger) Blizzard #2 blowing in, in the wake of (nasty) Blizzard #1. What a way to end Y-2010. Maybe we'all should pray for some Global Warming.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Super Hero Convention


The 2011 Super Hero Convention will be held in (where else) Cape Town (again). Cape Town, South Africa will once again play host to the Super Hero International Team. Super Heros will be flying in from all over the world. SuperMan and WonderWoman will host the event, while The BatMan and Robin will be general event co-coordinators. Formal attire is being requested by The Hulk. Don't forget to put this on your calendar! The date is: 2011. The place is: Cape Town!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Person Of The Week


Miles Brothers Corp person-of-the-week:
Judge Henry E. Hudson
First judge to rule against the healthcare law passed during the Obamadministration.
Washington Post
Wikipedia

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Collapsible Roof


The much anticipated showdown between the Minnesoda Vikings and NYGiants which was originally scheduled for Sunday noon, then Monday night, is most likely: "On Hold". Metrodome officials confirm the roof collapsed in the wake of a "major" winter storm to hit the region. Some locals describe the Home of the Vikings as looking like "a large bowl of sugar". (Maybe the Sugar Bowl can be played here?) Because of the blizzard, the NYGiants ended up "visiting" the Kansas City Chiefs for the evening. Perhaps the Vikings' new stadium should not opt for a "collapsible roof". If roof workers can simply remove the damaged roof, the Vikings/Giants match-up could be played as an old-fashioned outdoor game. Just remember to bring a "flask of hot cocoa".

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Monkey Wisdom


It seems The Government is trying to incorporate some famous monkey maxims into its ruling guidelines.

See No Evil has been modified into: Don't Look, Don't Read (regarding the WikiLeaks documents).

Hear No Evil has become: Don't Ask, Don't Tell (dealing with military homosexuality).

Speak No Evil has been reverse-morphed into: If You See Something, Say Something (coming soon to a Wal-Mart near you).

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Show Of Strength


One of the oldest strength competitions in the world is the Tug-Of-War. It is often used these daze as a metaphor phor a battle between two opposing groups of people. As a serious sporting event, it has probably been around since the invention of rope. This 1888 Harvard Tug-O-War team is shown practicing their art, which was actually an Olympic event back in the early 1900's. Most male tug-o-warriors do admit that the main reason for engaging in this archaic activity is to woo women.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Read It Yourself


President Obama is quite good at reading his speeches off of his teleprompters. The way he smoothly looks back and forth from teleprompter to teleprompter can be quite mesmerizing. Idea: Why not free him up to do more important things (like play basketball) and let us read the speeches directly? Simply turn the cameras to the teleprompter and let it roll. If you would like to practice, go to cueprompter.com. Here you can copy and paste any script that you want to read off of a real teleprompter, and then simply press START PROMPTER! You will have the option of white text with black background or black text with white background. There are variable speed settings from 1-9. You can also control the size of the text, and have normal text or reverse image. Now you can read presidential speeches off of a teleprompter just like a real president!

Friday, November 26, 2010

Discovery Problems Discovered


The NASA space shuttle Discovery sits upon its launch pad waiting for countdown to begin. Unfortunately, Discovery is currently powered down due to problems discovered involving the external fuel tanks. Discovery is suffering from external tank bracket crackage. The earliest possible date for blast-off is December 17, but more engineering evaluations, tests, and repairs are needed. Some casual observers are also commenting that the shuttle seems to be leaning a bit to the left (possibly to reflect the inclinations of the Obama administration).

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Time Clock


The clock thought now what rhymes with time,
At the top of the hour it began to chime,
Time was pondering what rhymes with clock,
As seconds went by tick tock tick tock.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Caption Contest


It is time once again for another Caption Contest! Take a minute to comment a caption for this picture. Deadline for captions: 1 hour before the end of the world.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Contrary Contrail


This was the sunset scene in southern California this last Monday. Does this look like the vapor trail of an airplane to you, or perhaps does it more resemble a high-altitude rocket launch?

It gives me no comfort to hear that the Department of Defense either doesn't know what it was, or is playing it off as the vapor contrail of an aircraft taking off. If "they" supposedly don't know what it was, then how do they know that "there was no threat to the U.S. homeland"? The possible explanations given by "Defense Experts" are quite amusing. After saying that it is clearly an airplane contrail, they explain that it is just an optical illusion, that only appears like it is going "up". Whereas in reality, the airplane vapor trail is actually level, and traveling toward the camera. How stupid do "they" think "we" are? Everyone (in reality) that saw it said that it looked like a rocket launch. What do you think?

Friday, November 5, 2010

Coffee Break


From Amsterdam to Zimbabwe, this ubiquitous drink has delivered the power of caffeine to the world since it was legalized. The business community has been fueled by coffee breaks, going back to the 1950s. Most would agree that the benefits of drinking coffee outweigh any negative side effects. On the positive side: more energy, decreased hunger, less tired, flushing of the skin (see picture). Possible negatives: anxiety, confusion, irritability, insomnia. One cup of coffee provides about 100 mg of caffeine, which allow me to create early morning blog posts such as this one.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween Persona


Considering my Halloween costume options for this year, I first thought to be: Spider Man. But then started to go more with simply a: Spider. Let us shorten that further to just be a: Spy. Why not get down to basics and go as an: S. Perhaps drop the S and just be: Invisible Man. But since there are so many of those, I decided to go as who I really am: Spider Man.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Safety Is Priceless


President Obama and his wife will be visiting Mumbai, India for two days after the mid-term elections. Mumbai (Bombay) is the second most populous city in the world, after Shanghai. To ensure a safe visit, all 570 rooms at the Taj Mahal Hotel have been reserved, along with all the banquet rooms and restaurants. Additionally, 125 rooms at the Taj President, and 80-90 rooms at each of the Grand Hyatt and The Oberoi have been reserved. Air Force One will be accompanied by two jumbo jets and a flock of security jets. There will be 45 cars in the Presidential Convoy. US naval ships will be patrolling at sea. His personal Presidential Chefs will be brought along to prepare their food. All this for a two day visit to India. What's the price tag going to be for this visit? Wouldn't it be a lot easier just to make a phone call?

Monday, October 18, 2010

Get It Done


Almost everything you do will seem insignificant, but it is important that you do it. --Gandhi

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Moments In History


Featured in this "Moments In History" is Barney Frank (D-MA). Mr. Frank is one of the smartest and most powerful members of the Democratic Party in the U.S. House of Representatives. Recently asked about his support for Obamacare, he adroitly responded to the woman's question by cleverly answering a question with a question: "On what planet do you spend most of your time?" His ability to non-answer questions has served him well, while he's served the people of Massachusetts since 1981. In 1987, he made a surprise announcement that he was left-handed. In spite of this, he has been re-elected by wide margins ever since that personal disclosure. In this particular photograph, he is shown using his right hand, while calling Freddie Mac for a date.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Sky High


Space isn't remote at all.
It's only an hour's drive away
if your car could go straight upwards.
--Fred Hoyle

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Coach Vikings


After the Vikings lost to the New Orleans Saints by a score of 14-9 during their season opener, the Miles Brothers Corp had a chance to ask Coach Childress a few questions:

MBC: What was your strategery going into the game?

Coach: Our plan was taken from one of my favorite American thinkers, Stephen Wright: The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

MBC: What did you tell the team at half time?

Coach: "I thought we hung in there in the first half and told the guys at halftime it was just about if you had to draw it up you would hold the ball for 17-minutes in the first half."**

MBC: Were there any major problems during the game that you're going to work on?

Coach: I was having some trouble with my headphones, trying to get them to fit my head properly, which really caused some problems during the game.

MBC: Do you think you will be going to the Super Bowl this year?

Coach: My wife is trying to get us tickets, but if we don't get any, we'll probably just watch the game in our basement.

** After the game, all of the Vikings players admitted that none of them understood anything that Coach Brad Childress was saying to them during half time. {read actual interview}

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Best of the Worst


Why is President Obama's general approval of 42% lower than the 45% who strongly disapprove? It's probably a combination of numerous reasons, all of which are getting stronger. It seems the more the economy struggles, the more Barry goes on vacation to golf. Perhaps people are getting tired of being ridiculed for simply questioning why all his personal records have been locked down. If you don't have anything to hide, why all the secrecy about your life's path to the Whitehouse? Perhaps a generally conservative nation is tired of a liberal administration trying to ram through an ultra-liberal agenda, and it always must be done as quickly as possible. Perhaps it comes down to a simple matter of trust and respect.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Never Too Late


It is never too late to become what you might have been.
--George Eliot

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Accident Prevention


One of the Miles Brothers Corp special abilities is to see accidents before they happen. This comes from years of practice, practical experience, seminars, discussion groups, and intuition. If you can see an accident waiting to happen, you have the power to prevent it. Nip it in the bud before it blooms into an actual "situation". In this picture of Idaho's Balancing Rock, can you see an accident waiting to happen?

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Cool Pool


This was the scene on a hot day at a pool in southern China. How would you like to be the lifeguard on duty for this swimming pool? I would implement the Buddy System and use it often.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Solemnly Sworn


I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Twin Powers


We may never completely understand lightning except to be able to define it as massive high-voltage electrical discharges similar to the low-voltage electrical activity that occurs in our brains when trying to think about these sudden thunderous bolts which recently (and) simultaneously struck Chicago's Trump and Willis (Sears) Towers.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Tar Ball


The Obamadministration recently said we can no longer use the term "jihadists" when referring to the war on terror because it has religious connotations. We also cannot use the terms "terrorists" or "war on terrorism" because these imply a certain tactic of war rather than a group of people. On a different front, we can now no longer use the term "tar ball" because it is a derogatory term which only serves to remind people of the ongoing BP oil leak mega-disaster situation in the Gulf of Mexico. The best way to control the debate is by controlling the language. Just added to the list: We can no longer say "Gulf of Mexico".

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Voting For Change


When Obama ran on Hope & Change, few knew he actually meant changing around the furniture. Not only could he organize whole communities as an ACORN community organizer, but he would end up personally rearranging the Oval Office. He seems to be moving everything to the far left. Regarding his policies, if you voted for him and have any voter remorse, just imagine how folks that didn't vote for him feel.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Ashland


Scientists are warning that the eruption of Eyjafjallajokull on Iceland could be the beginning of a surge in volcanic activity that will affect Europe for decades.

Studying eruption patterns over the last thousand years shows an activity cycle lasting around 140 years. Unfortunately, we are coming to the end of a quiet phase that dominated the last fifty years. We could now be approaching a prolonged period of increased volcanic activity.

Besides the infamous Eyjafjallajokull volcano, there are three or four other larger Icelandic volcanoes building towards an eruption. These bigger siblings could be triggered by their newly active smaller neighbor.

How long could the current eruptions continue? Previous eruptions back in the 1800s lasted fifteen months. But with subterranean earth crust movement creating stress and allowing magma to rise, we could be looking at decades of ash clouds being released over Europe.

Air travel to and from Europe could be disrupted for months, years, decades, not to mention melting ice on Iceland causing massive flooding. We might have to change the name of Iceland to Ashland.

At one point, a radar image showed the ominous face of Eyjafjallajokull's crater.

Every crisis also provides an opportunity for hope and change. President Obama can now name a new Ash Czar, a Volcano Czar, and an Icelandic Crisis Czar. Since he has so many czars, there should also be a Czar Czar to oversee all other czars. This position could be filled by everyone's favorite Star Wars character: Czar Czar Binks.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Mystery Art #2




This is the second addition to our Mystery Art Gallery.
If you have a guess as to what it might be, please do.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Mike Kagan


Is it possible Elena Kagan
is really Mike Myers in disguise?
You be the judge.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Rat Race


I don't mind the rat race but I could do with a little more cheese please.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Time Management


The sooner you fall behind
the more time you'll have
to catch up.