Saturday, December 12, 2009

Golf Without Tiger

Tiger says he will be taking an indefinite break from golf. I wish he wood not.
Watching golf without Tiger is like:
Basketball without Michael Jordan
Spaghetti without sauce
Football without John Earl Madden
Thanksgiving without turkey, dressing, and gravy
Internet without the Drudge Report
A Christmas tree without lights
Global Warming without Al Gore
(or Algore without Global Warming)
Halloween without pumpkins
Corona without a lime
Mornings without coffee
Sunrises without sun
Summer without flowers
Watching a NASCAR race
Paparazzi without Britney Spears
Larry King without suspenders
The Jackson Five without Michael
A blogpost that doesn't include any pictures!

Oh, I supposed I could try to get excited about:
Watching John Daly smoking, drinking, and walking off in the middle of a tournament. Listening to Jesper Parnevik comment on current "affairs". Fred Funk and Dicky Pride just because of their names. Watching Camilo Villegas line up a putt. Waiting to see what color pants and hair Ian Poulter will don. Wondering if Billy Mayfair will lighten his hair. Waiting for the day that Jason Day gets paired with Brian Gay. Watching Phil try to win the U.S. Open. Watching Jim Furyk wow the crowd. Waiting for Ernie Els to turn on his electric personality. Waiting for Bo Van Pelt to win one for Linus and Lucy Van Pelt. Wondering if the fathers and grandfathers are all watching Davis Love III, Charles Howell III, and Tommy Armour III. Watching Steve Stricker win the Fedex Cup, and D. A. Points try to earn a few more. Watching Vijay Singh karaoke. Watching Sergio running after shots from the rough, swearing in Spanish. Watching Boo Weekley running around frightening people. Waiting for Daniel Chopra to get married to Oprah (so she would be: Oprah Chopra). Waiting for Ben Curtis to win the British Open again. Wondering if Jean Van de Velde is ever going to win the British Open. Waiting for David Duval to make a comeback from behind those glasses. Wondering if Greg Norman or Tom Watson can win another major. Wondering what ever happened to Adam Scott? Wondering if Kirk Triplett will add three more children to his family. Watching Chris Couch eating potato chips while watching golf on TV. Wondering why David Peoples doesn't attract much of a gallery. Wondering if Rich Beem has enough support. Wondering if Geoff Ogilvy is related to Joe Ogilvie. Watching Padraig Harrington stare down another approach shot. Watching Mike Weir practice his backswing. Watching Kenny Perry's weird backswing. Waiting for Justin Rose to get into and out of a thorny situation. Watching Ben Crane stand in a water hazard. Waiting for Retief Goosen to lay a golden egg. Wondering if James Nitties will produce a line of scarves named after himself. Waiting for Fred Couples to match people up through his dating service. Waiting for Stewart Cink to clean up in the kitchen. Waiting for Nathan Green to create some earth-friendly jobs. Hoping that Steve Flesch will put on some more clothes.

Like I said, Golf will not be the same without Tiger's Wood.

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