Haiku:
Buy carbon credits.
Buy into hoax to save Earth.
Money to Algore.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Taxman
Let me tell you how it will be
There’s one for you, nineteen for me
Because I’m the Taxman
Yeah, I’m the Taxman
Should five per cent appear too small
Be thankful I don’t take it all
Because I’m the Taxman
Yeah yeah I’m the Taxman
If you drive a car, I’ll tax the street
If you try to sit, I’ll tax your seat
If you get too cold, I’ll tax the heat
If you take a walk, I’ll tax your feet
Because I’m the Taxman
Yeah, I’m the Taxman
Don’t ask me what I want it for
Ah Ah! Mister Wilson
If you don’t want to pay some more
Ah Ah! Mister Heath
Because I’m the Taxman
Yeah, I’m the Taxman
Now my advice for those who die
Declare the pennies on your eyes
Because I’m the Taxman
Yeah, I’m the Taxman
And you’re working for noone but me.
The Beatles, 1966.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Quayle Time
Conversations with Great Minds
An interview with:
Vice President Dan Quayle
Blog: Thank you for doing this interview in our series of Conversations with Great Minds. You were Vice President of the United States. Do you feel you get all the respect you deserve?
DQ: I deserve respect for the things I did not do.
Blog: Some quotes attributed to you either show questionable judgement or perhaps they were simply misstatements?
DQ: I have made good judgements in the past. I have made good judgements in the future. I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.
Blog: Looking at the US map, you've been doing some travelling lately. How do you feel about the Left Coast?
DQ: I love California. I practically grew up in Arizona.
Blog: What about Hawaii?
DQ: Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island, that is right here.
Blog: The global picture is always changing. Describe your thoughts regarding our neighbors to the South, our European NATO allies, and the Middle Eastern quagmire.
DQ: I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people. We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe. The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other.
Blog: We've sent men to the moon. What are your thoughts on our current space program?
DQ: It's time for the human race to enter the solar system. Space is almost infinite. As a matter of fact, we think it is infinite. For NASA, space is still a high priority.
Blog: What are your feelings about family and family values?
DQ: I understand the importance of bondage between parent and child. Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.
Blog: Do you think we're winning the war on education?
DQ: We're going to have the best educated American people in the world. What a terrible thing to have lost one's mind. Or not to have a mind at all. How true that is.
Blog: You obviously know how to win an election. It all comes down to votes, doesn't it?
DQ: Votes are like trees, if you're trying to build a forest. If you have more trees than you have forests, then at that point, the pollsters will probably say you will win. A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
Blog: What are your thoughts concerning the Republican Party?
DQ: If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor. It's the other way around. They never vote for us. I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.
Blog: Why do you think so many banks are threatened by failure?
DQ: Bank failures are caused by depositors who don't deposit enough money to cover losses due to mismanagement.
Blog: Don't you think it's great going Green to decrease pollution and save the Earth?
DQ: It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
Blog: In general, Mr. Vice President, with all things considered, what direction do you think our country will be going as we move forward?
DQ: It's a question of whether we're going to go forward into the future, or past to the back. I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy, but that could change. People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history. This president is going to lead us out of this recovery. We are ready for any unforseen event that may or may not occur. The future will be better tomorrow.
Blog: Do you have any final advice or lessons to pass on, as part of your legacy?
DQ: If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime.
Blog: Thanks again Mr. Vice President, for participating in our series called "Conversations with Great Minds". One last question: Was it Al Gore who invented the Internet, or was that actually Dan Quayle who did?
DQ: If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented Spell Check.
An interview with:
Vice President Dan Quayle
Blog: Thank you for doing this interview in our series of Conversations with Great Minds. You were Vice President of the United States. Do you feel you get all the respect you deserve?
DQ: I deserve respect for the things I did not do.
Blog: Some quotes attributed to you either show questionable judgement or perhaps they were simply misstatements?
DQ: I have made good judgements in the past. I have made good judgements in the future. I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.
Blog: Looking at the US map, you've been doing some travelling lately. How do you feel about the Left Coast?
DQ: I love California. I practically grew up in Arizona.
Blog: What about Hawaii?
DQ: Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island, that is right here.
Blog: The global picture is always changing. Describe your thoughts regarding our neighbors to the South, our European NATO allies, and the Middle Eastern quagmire.
DQ: I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people. We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe. The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other.
Blog: We've sent men to the moon. What are your thoughts on our current space program?
DQ: It's time for the human race to enter the solar system. Space is almost infinite. As a matter of fact, we think it is infinite. For NASA, space is still a high priority.
Blog: What are your feelings about family and family values?
DQ: I understand the importance of bondage between parent and child. Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.
Blog: Do you think we're winning the war on education?
DQ: We're going to have the best educated American people in the world. What a terrible thing to have lost one's mind. Or not to have a mind at all. How true that is.
Blog: You obviously know how to win an election. It all comes down to votes, doesn't it?
DQ: Votes are like trees, if you're trying to build a forest. If you have more trees than you have forests, then at that point, the pollsters will probably say you will win. A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
Blog: What are your thoughts concerning the Republican Party?
DQ: If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor. It's the other way around. They never vote for us. I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.
Blog: Why do you think so many banks are threatened by failure?
DQ: Bank failures are caused by depositors who don't deposit enough money to cover losses due to mismanagement.
Blog: Don't you think it's great going Green to decrease pollution and save the Earth?
DQ: It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
Blog: In general, Mr. Vice President, with all things considered, what direction do you think our country will be going as we move forward?
DQ: It's a question of whether we're going to go forward into the future, or past to the back. I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy, but that could change. People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history. This president is going to lead us out of this recovery. We are ready for any unforseen event that may or may not occur. The future will be better tomorrow.
Blog: Do you have any final advice or lessons to pass on, as part of your legacy?
DQ: If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime.
Blog: Thanks again Mr. Vice President, for participating in our series called "Conversations with Great Minds". One last question: Was it Al Gore who invented the Internet, or was that actually Dan Quayle who did?
DQ: If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented Spell Check.
Jetsonian
After the Obama Administration first fired the CEO of General Motors and then subsequently turned the company into "Government Motors", Obama has personally set some new goals to modernize the cars being created. There is apparently an effort to steer future cars to look more like the futuristic cars depicted in the ever-popular show "The Jetsons". 
Your first choice from the new GM will be something along the lines of this:
Another model causing quite a buzz but which still is in testing, looks somewhat like this:
Get ready for cars from the future to be coming to one of the few dealerships still open to sell the new GM vehicles, as mandated by the Obamadministration. Just imagine being able to fly to the grocery store to buy government made bread with your government-rationed food stamps. The slogan Obama has applied to the new Government Motors future car project is YES WE CAN!
Get ready for cars from the future to be coming to one of the few dealerships still open to sell the new GM vehicles, as mandated by the Obamadministration. Just imagine being able to fly to the grocery store to buy government made bread with your government-rationed food stamps. The slogan Obama has applied to the new Government Motors future car project is YES WE CAN!
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