Coach Vikings

After the Vikings lost to the New Orleans Saints by a score of 14-9 during their season opener, the Miles Brothers Corp had a chance to ask Coach Childress a few questions:

MBC: What was your strategery going into the game?

Coach: Our plan was taken from one of my favorite American thinkers, Stephen Wright: The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

MBC: What did you tell the team at half time?

Coach: "I thought we hung in there in the first half and told the guys at halftime it was just about if you had to draw it up you would hold the ball for 17-minutes in the first half."**

MBC: Were there any major problems during the game that you're going to work on?

Coach: I was having some trouble with my headphones, trying to get them to fit my head properly, which really caused some problems during the game.

MBC: Do you think you will be going to the Super Bowl this year?

Coach: My wife is trying to get us tickets, but if we don't get any, we'll probably just watch the game in our basement.

** After the game, all of the Vikings players admitted that none of them understood anything that Coach Brad Childress was saying to them during half time. {read actual interview}

Best of the Worst

Why is President Obama's general approval of 42% lower than the 45% who strongly disapprove? It's probably a combination of numerous reasons, all of which are getting stronger. It seems the more the economy struggles, the more Barry goes on vacation to golf. Perhaps people are getting tired of being ridiculed for simply questioning why all his personal records have been locked down. If you don't have anything to hide, why all the secrecy about your life's path to the Whitehouse? Perhaps a generally conservative nation is tired of a liberal administration trying to ram through an ultra-liberal agenda, and it always must be done as quickly as possible. Perhaps it comes down to a simple matter of trust and respect.

Never Too Late

It is never too late to become what you might have been.
--George Eliot

Accident Prevention

One of the Miles Brothers Corp special abilities is to see accidents before they happen. This comes from years of practice, practical experience, seminars, discussion groups, and intuition. If you can see an accident waiting to happen, you have the power to prevent it. Nip it in the bud before it blooms into an actual "situation". In this picture of Idaho's Balancing Rock, can you see an accident waiting to happen?

Cool Pool

This was the scene on a hot day at a pool in southern China. How would you like to be the lifeguard on duty for this swimming pool? I would implement the Buddy System and use it often.

Solemnly Sworn

I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

Twin Powers

We may never completely understand lightning except to be able to define it as massive high-voltage electrical discharges similar to the low-voltage electrical activity that occurs in our brains when trying to think about these sudden thunderous bolts which recently (and) simultaneously struck Chicago's Trump and Willis (Sears) Towers.

Tar Ball

The Obamadministration recently said we can no longer use the term "jihadists" when referring to the war on terror because it has religious connotations. We also cannot use the terms "terrorists" or "war on terrorism" because these imply a certain tactic of war rather than a group of people. On a different front, we can now no longer use the term "tar ball" because it is a derogatory term which only serves to remind people of the ongoing BP oil leak mega-disaster situation in the Gulf of Mexico. The best way to control the debate is by controlling the language. Just added to the list: We can no longer say "Gulf of Mexico".

Voting For Change

When Obama ran on Hope & Change, few knew he actually meant changing around the furniture. Not only could he organize whole communities as an ACORN community organizer, but he would end up personally rearranging the Oval Office. He seems to be moving everything to the far left. Regarding his policies, if you voted for him and have any voter remorse, just imagine how folks that didn't vote for him feel.

Ashland

Scientists are warning that the eruption of Eyjafjallajokull on Iceland could be the beginning of a surge in volcanic activity that will affect Europe for decades.

Studying eruption patterns over the last thousand years shows an activity cycle lasting around 140 years. Unfortunately, we are coming to the end of a quiet phase that dominated the last fifty years. We could now be approaching a prolonged period of increased volcanic activity.

Besides the infamous Eyjafjallajokull volcano, there are three or four other larger Icelandic volcanoes building towards an eruption. These bigger siblings could be triggered by their newly active smaller neighbor.

How long could the current eruptions continue? Previous eruptions back in the 1800s lasted fifteen months. But with subterranean earth crust movement creating stress and allowing magma to rise, we could be looking at decades of ash clouds being released over Europe.

Air travel to and from Europe could be disrupted for months, years, decades, not to mention melting ice on Iceland causing massive flooding. We might have to change the name of Iceland to Ashland.

At one point, a radar image showed the ominous face of Eyjafjallajokull's crater.

Every crisis also provides an opportunity for hope and change. President Obama can now name a new Ash Czar, a Volcano Czar, and an Icelandic Crisis Czar. Since he has so many czars, there should also be a Czar Czar to oversee all other czars. This position could be filled by everyone's favorite Star Wars character: Czar Czar Binks.

Mystery Art #2

This is the second addition to our Mystery Art Gallery.
If you have a guess as to what it might be, please do.

Mike Kagan

Is it possible Elena Kagan

is really Mike Myers in disguise?

You be the judge.

Rat Race

I don't mind the rat race but I could do with a little more cheese please.

Time Management

The sooner you fall behind

the more time you'll have

to catch up.

Slick Operation

BP Oil rig trouble explodes in the gulf.

President immediately calls a meeting with coffee.

Leaking oil becomes bigger problem by the minute.

Call in Johnnny Quest with his trained dolphins.

Johnnny quickly learns how to fix the problem.

Operation successful. Disaster averted.

Time to celebrate. All's well that ends well.