Solemnly Sworn

I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

Twin Powers

We may never completely understand lightning except to be able to define it as massive high-voltage electrical discharges similar to the low-voltage electrical activity that occurs in our brains when trying to think about these sudden thunderous bolts which recently (and) simultaneously struck Chicago's Trump and Willis (Sears) Towers.

Tar Ball

The Obamadministration recently said we can no longer use the term "jihadists" when referring to the war on terror because it has religious connotations. We also cannot use the terms "terrorists" or "war on terrorism" because these imply a certain tactic of war rather than a group of people. On a different front, we can now no longer use the term "tar ball" because it is a derogatory term which only serves to remind people of the ongoing BP oil leak mega-disaster situation in the Gulf of Mexico. The best way to control the debate is by controlling the language. Just added to the list: We can no longer say "Gulf of Mexico".

Voting For Change

When Obama ran on Hope & Change, few knew he actually meant changing around the furniture. Not only could he organize whole communities as an ACORN community organizer, but he would end up personally rearranging the Oval Office. He seems to be moving everything to the far left. Regarding his policies, if you voted for him and have any voter remorse, just imagine how folks that didn't vote for him feel.

Ashland

Scientists are warning that the eruption of Eyjafjallajokull on Iceland could be the beginning of a surge in volcanic activity that will affect Europe for decades.

Studying eruption patterns over the last thousand years shows an activity cycle lasting around 140 years. Unfortunately, we are coming to the end of a quiet phase that dominated the last fifty years. We could now be approaching a prolonged period of increased volcanic activity.

Besides the infamous Eyjafjallajokull volcano, there are three or four other larger Icelandic volcanoes building towards an eruption. These bigger siblings could be triggered by their newly active smaller neighbor.

How long could the current eruptions continue? Previous eruptions back in the 1800s lasted fifteen months. But with subterranean earth crust movement creating stress and allowing magma to rise, we could be looking at decades of ash clouds being released over Europe.

Air travel to and from Europe could be disrupted for months, years, decades, not to mention melting ice on Iceland causing massive flooding. We might have to change the name of Iceland to Ashland.

At one point, a radar image showed the ominous face of Eyjafjallajokull's crater.

Every crisis also provides an opportunity for hope and change. President Obama can now name a new Ash Czar, a Volcano Czar, and an Icelandic Crisis Czar. Since he has so many czars, there should also be a Czar Czar to oversee all other czars. This position could be filled by everyone's favorite Star Wars character: Czar Czar Binks.

Mystery Art #2

This is the second addition to our Mystery Art Gallery.
If you have a guess as to what it might be, please do.

Mike Kagan

Is it possible Elena Kagan

is really Mike Myers in disguise?

You be the judge.

Rat Race

I don't mind the rat race but I could do with a little more cheese please.

Time Management

The sooner you fall behind

the more time you'll have

to catch up.

Slick Operation

BP Oil rig trouble explodes in the gulf.

President immediately calls a meeting with coffee.

Leaking oil becomes bigger problem by the minute.

Call in Johnnny Quest with his trained dolphins.

Johnnny quickly learns how to fix the problem.

Operation successful. Disaster averted.

Time to celebrate. All's well that ends well.

Eye Love It

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing. --Bill Cosby
If the eye does not want to see, neither light nor glasses will help. --German Proverb
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. --Mark Twain

Fighting Sioux

The University of North Dakota Fighting Sioux are being forced to change their school team name and logo by a small, politically-correct minority. I think they should keep the Fighting Sioux name and logo. However, if a name and logo change is forthcoming, here are a few possibilities:
The Blizzard (Logo is 6-Sided Snowflake)
The Champions (Logo is a Trophy)
The Fighting Tsunamis (Logo is a Big Wave)
The Flurry (Logo is a Snowflake)
The Former Fighting Sioux (Logo is the current logo)
The Grand Forkers (Logo is a Big Fork)
The Lucky Casinos (Logo is a Slot Machine)

Since there is a bit more space left in this post, here is a bonus list of ideas (some of these might have a bit more of a sarcastic edge to them):

The Fighting Zoo (Logo is caged monkeys)
The Gambling Casinos (Logo is a blackjack hand)
The Generics (Logo is a barcode)
The Grudge (Logo is a fist)
The Heinys (Logo is a Heineken bottlecap)
The Holding Grudges (Logo is a fist holding the current logo)
The Mosquitos (Logo is a large mosquito with a full load)
The Nightmares (Logo is "The Scream" by Edvard Munch)
The No Name Sports Team (Logo is a empty square)
The North Dakota Redskins (Logo is the Washington Redskins logo)
The North Dakota School Sports Team (Logo is the outline of ND)
The Nuclear Warheads (Logo is a nuclear missile)
The Politically Corrects (Logo is the current logo with a red line thru it)
The Ralph Engelstads (Logo is a picture of Ralph Engelstad)

If you have any other good brainstorms, please feel free to share via the comment section below.

Mrs. Miles Brothers Corp Day!

The Miles Brothers Corp opened its imaginary doors for bidness in 1988. Six years later, in 1994, the MB© expanded its visionary operation with the Mrs. Miles Brothers Corp division (and the Original Mrs. Miles Brothers Corp). A half century before that, in 1944, Mylah Sands had become Mrs. Miles.

Mylah is the Honorary Original Mrs. Miles Brothers Corp, and she is the symbol of our priceless MMB© branch.

Mylah was born on 31 March 1922, and with the power vested in me by the MB© and the EIB Network, I hereby proclaim today -- and every 31st of March -- as Mrs. Miles Brothers Corp Day!

If you see a Mrs. MB©, please give her a lovey-up (hug) on behalf of the entire MB©. Happy Mrs. Miles Brothers Corp Day!

Love, SMiles :)

Yes Keith Can

On 16 Dec 2009 someone spoke passionately about the Senate health bill. That person was Keith Olbermann.

Today, in a big stage signing ceremony, President Obama signed the Senate health bill into law.

Here are some of Keith's quotes about the Senate health bill (the new law of the land):

"We must now not make the defeat worse by passing a hollow shell of a bill just for the sake of a big stage signing ceremony."

"The mandate in this bill under which we are required to buy insurance must be stripped out. Make enough money to take care of yourself and your family and you must buy insurance, on the insurer's terms, or face a fine. This provision must go."

"You (President Obama) must now announce that you will veto any bill...containing a mandate."

"The Senate bill with the mandate must be defeated."

"We must not buy federally-mandated insurance..."

"I will not buy this insurance. Brand me a law-breaker if you choose. Fine me if you will. Jail me if you must."

Now that the Senate health bill -- with the federal mandate -- is the law, I'm sure Keith will remain consistent in his thoughts.

Thank you,
SMiles :)











You can watch Keith's full commentage here (Part 1):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36K27uB3VKs&NR=1
And here (Part 2):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDvlW7wxWDk&NR=1

Common Sense

President Ronald Reagan said government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem. Can we all agree that healthcare is (or should be) something between a patient and a doctor or nurse? Can we also agree that anytime government gets involved, there are often numerous negative unintended consequences? So how have we gotten so close to a Big Government takeover of the American healthcare system? Sadly, this attempted giant expansion of Big Government (and the IRS) has a stack of intended negative consequences. Hopefully, it is never too late for a dose of common sense. Having the Democratics "fix" our healthcare system is like having arsonists help fight a fire. How about healthcare reform that lessens government involvement between the doctor/patient relationship?