Round of Applause

If you like making six-sided snowflakes
but don't feel like manually cutting
you will definitely enjoy this website:
Snowflakes

Distractions

What's the difference between texting while driving and driving while blindfolded? Unfortunately, there is no difference. :o(

If you really need to text message or play with your iPhone-type gadgets, do it while not driving down the road. Your driving will greatly improve and your text messages will probably make much more sense. In summary: Don't Text While Driving. Put another way, if you're operating a motorized vehicle, don't be texting. iPhone means iCrash. Pay attention or pay the consequences.

Cave Painting

This is the first in a collection of photo art pieces which will be known as our Mystery Art Gallery. Different things can be seen in it.
Some think it might resemble this or that.
What do you think it is?

Snail Mail

The U.S. Postal Service is slowy working to modernize its different areas of operations.
Here is a sneak peek into the new and more efficient sorting room.
Through a vast system of bags, bins, and baskets, postal workers can sort all the mail with a minimum of errors. Since smoking is not allowed to minimize fires, each postal associate has the option of having their own personal spittoon next to their work station. Postmaster General Jack Potter believes he can work his wizardry by implementing the following flowchart for consistently accurate distribution of the U.S. Mail.

As they say, the person with the visual aid always wins the argument. With the cost of mailing a letter nearing a JFK half dollar, we hope the United States Postal Service continues to strive to be the best it can be at delivering US the mail.

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.

Democrat Tax

As a reward to all tax-loving Democrats for supporting their tax-increasing representatives, Harry Reid announces a new Democrat Tax. Only available to registered Democrats, the Senate majority leader wants you to be able to pay much more in taxes. You will be voluntarily mandated to pay 80% of your taxable income to your federal government. For Nebraskan Democrats, a special back-room deal was made offering them a generous 85% tax. Democrats are reportedly ecstatic over the idea they will finally be able to pay most of their income to Big Government. A Democrat speaking on conditions of anonymity said: "I wish I could pay all my income to the government." Another said: "Every government agency is so efficient. I think government should take all my money so I will be totally taken care of by Big Government."

Home Deliveries

Most towns still have home delivery services of milk from the milkman. Other home deliveries might include pizza and mail.

One of the best days in our neighborhood is when the Heineken Man makes his rounds. It is always nice to have a small stockpile of biers at home during the long, cold winters. But if you happen to be running a bit low, it is so convenient to have a case delivered directly from The Netherlands to your front door.

Retrospective

It might have been a dream, but we once possibly spent a Christmas on Maui. Bad News: It seems like a faint fantasy. Good News: We have some evidentiary photos. Bad News: The details are a bit sketchy. My dream starts out walking down a random Maui street going to do some last minute Christmas shopping for Maui Christmas 2008.

Along the beach is encountered a young gentleman holding exactly what was sought: An Aerobie! The perfect gift for anyone, expecially me. Negotiations ensued between myself and the young, well-spoken gentleman, who called himself Mr. Reagan.

After underwriting a sure win-win scenario, the two of us, along with our corporate attorney, decided to join the group for some Caring & Sharing. This quickly gave way to the obligatory Aerobie Toss Competitions.

Uncle Scotty was both judge and jury when it came to intergame shinanigans. Scotty can verbal judo with the best of them. Mylah always said Super Uncle Scotty was the best athlete in the family.

Heated conversation and sand eventuated in the ceremonial Cool Foot Bath for President Reagan. Conservative elephants are perfect for the job.

As the afternoon plays out, Happy Hour looms on the horizon. The Miles Brothers Corp relaxes into committee meetings and readings of minutes. New jokes are told and old stories are exaggerated.

The Miles Brothers Corp winds up another successful Dream Conference. From Wales to Maui, the Miles Family traditions get passed on to the torch bearers for the next generations.

Tree Moat

Good News: During the summer, our backyard trees have a fence around them.
Bad News: During the winter, those fences don't fence out the tree-eating rabbits due to high snow levels.
Good News: Yesterday, I shovelled a moat around our trees to protect them from hungry bunnies.

Instead of a "remote", this is a "tree moat". Lessons learned from the past include protecting new trees from our rabbit population. Another lesson learned would be to not leave grass exposed to the harsh cold. Leaving a covering of snow to blanket the grass protects it from freezing temperatures. Current actual temperature outside this morning: -26 F. This is one way North Dakota keeps out the Riff Raff.

Resolutions

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny
Title: Resolutions
Date Written: December 21st, 2009
(Line 1: Kit, Line 2: Johnnny, etc.)
Copyright © 2010. All rights reserved.

R e s o l u t i o n s

Holiday laughter still rings in our ears
All's well as we end a year with cheers
Presents were opened and feasts were consumed
Partridge with sour cream wine sauce

should've been mushroomed

Yes, Christmas was magical, truly a gift
New Year's resolutions start on the 4th or the 5th
Endeavors begun with the highest of hopes
Wishing all those yeps don't turn into nopes
Yet after the ball drops and everyone's kissed
Embers glow on for the ones that we missed
As new snowflakes fall, it's Two Thousand-Ten
Remember your mantra and keep your life Zen.

HAPPYNEWYEAR!

Picture Language

Instead of sign language, I was thinking of coming up with something similar: Picture Language. Rather than writing the word or name you wish to communicate, say it with pictures. So what would these next two pictures together be saying?

Correct! That would be Football.

Let's try another one.

What would the next two pictures be saying?

Yes! We are saying Tiger Woods!

OK, now for a more difficult one.

What would this single picture be saying?

Office Window

Our garden-level office looks southly out under our deck. We call this area: "Down Under". During the winter, it makes a great blind to do some bird watching while sipping coffee, emailing, or blogging.

Earlier today, I observed a turf war between two local patridge gangs. The whole thing was a nice compliment that Down Under was worth fighting for. Hungarian Partridge got their name because they don't like being hungary.

White Christmas

We are definitely having a White Christmas in North Dakota (and numerous surrounding states). The interstate highways are all closed. City officials are advising no jogging. The sound of snowblowers is in the air.

I like to shovel my snow instead of using a snowblower. That way it can be directioned into a nice big pile which will eventually become a snowfort.

It looks like Christmas 2009 will include lots of snow and shovelling, partridge and sparrows in the backyard, indoor nibbling on all the leftover food from Christmas Eve, and of course, there is one NFL football game on TV tonight. There's nothing like a good old-fashioned Christmas.

Wrap It Up

With four days until Christmas Eve (and just three days to Festivus), you'all probably have all your shopping done, cookies made, trees decorated, snowflakes hung up, and cards sent out. If you want an easy, last minute idea, to transform any room into major Christmasland, wrap your hanging framed pictures!

Of course, the back sides don't need to be wrapped like an actual present, but it certainly changes the feel of any room quickly! We first saw this idea at a hotel in Minneapolis. The other nice thing is it covers up pictures that might not be on board with the Christmas holiday theme. The paper can be reused to wrap "future presents" (an unplanned oxymoron).

Floating Tiger Hidden Golfer

Apparently, Tiger's future x-wife told him to shape up or ship out. Since he was already quite shaped up, The Tiger decided to Ship Out.

Golf Without Tiger

Tiger says he will be taking an indefinite break from golf. I wish he wood not.
Watching golf without Tiger is like:
Basketball without Michael Jordan
Spaghetti without sauce
Football without John Earl Madden
Thanksgiving without turkey, dressing, and gravy
Internet without the Drudge Report
A Christmas tree without lights
Global Warming without Al Gore
(or Algore without Global Warming)
Halloween without pumpkins
Corona without a lime
Mornings without coffee
Sunrises without sun
Summer without flowers
Watching a NASCAR race
Paparazzi without Britney Spears
Larry King without suspenders
The Jackson Five without Michael
A blogpost that doesn't include any pictures!

Oh, I supposed I could try to get excited about:
Watching John Daly smoking, drinking, and walking off in the middle of a tournament. Listening to Jesper Parnevik comment on current "affairs". Fred Funk and Dicky Pride just because of their names. Watching Camilo Villegas line up a putt. Waiting to see what color pants and hair Ian Poulter will don. Wondering if Billy Mayfair will lighten his hair. Waiting for the day that Jason Day gets paired with Brian Gay. Watching Phil try to win the U.S. Open. Watching Jim Furyk wow the crowd. Waiting for Ernie Els to turn on his electric personality. Waiting for Bo Van Pelt to win one for Linus and Lucy Van Pelt. Wondering if the fathers and grandfathers are all watching Davis Love III, Charles Howell III, and Tommy Armour III. Watching Steve Stricker win the Fedex Cup, and D. A. Points try to earn a few more. Watching Vijay Singh karaoke. Watching Sergio running after shots from the rough, swearing in Spanish. Watching Boo Weekley running around frightening people. Waiting for Daniel Chopra to get married to Oprah (so she would be: Oprah Chopra). Waiting for Ben Curtis to win the British Open again. Wondering if Jean Van de Velde is ever going to win the British Open. Waiting for David Duval to make a comeback from behind those glasses. Wondering if Greg Norman or Tom Watson can win another major. Wondering what ever happened to Adam Scott? Wondering if Kirk Triplett will add three more children to his family. Watching Chris Couch eating potato chips while watching golf on TV. Wondering why David Peoples doesn't attract much of a gallery. Wondering if Rich Beem has enough support. Wondering if Geoff Ogilvy is related to Joe Ogilvie. Watching Padraig Harrington stare down another approach shot. Watching Mike Weir practice his backswing. Watching Kenny Perry's weird backswing. Waiting for Justin Rose to get into and out of a thorny situation. Watching Ben Crane stand in a water hazard. Waiting for Retief Goosen to lay a golden egg. Wondering if James Nitties will produce a line of scarves named after himself. Waiting for Fred Couples to match people up through his dating service. Waiting for Stewart Cink to clean up in the kitchen. Waiting for Nathan Green to create some earth-friendly jobs. Hoping that Steve Flesch will put on some more clothes.

Like I said, Golf will not be the same without Tiger's Wood.